Question by WhiteGuysOpinion: Does anyone know the latest on Jim Zorns job status?
i heard of this
OK, so here’s the conversation in DannyBoy’s office after he fires Z….
- Danny: “Vinny, get me Mike Shanahan on the phone”
- Vinny: “But sir, that would mean I have to remove my tongue out of your bum”
- Danny: “Fine. Permission granted”
Vinny gets Shanahan on the phone….
- Danny: “Mike, this is Dan Snyder. I want you to come coach the Skins. I will pay you ten million a year”
- Shanahan: “Do I get to fire Vinny?”
- Danny: “Uh…no. He stays. I need my personal bum-licker and the only way I can write it off on my taxes is if I keep him on the payroll”
- Shanahan: Click
- Danny: “Dammit..he hung up. Vinny. Get Mike Holmgren on the line
Vinny gets Holmgren on the phone….
- Danny: “Mike, this is Dan Snyder. I want you to come coach the Skins. I will pay you ten million a year”
- Holmgren: “Do I get to fire Vinny?”
- Danny: “Uh…no. He stays.”
- Holmgren: “Are you gonna sell the team?
- Danny: “No”
- Holmgren: Click
- Danny: “Dammit..he hung up too. Vinny. Get John Gruden on the line”
Vinny gets Gruden on the phone….
- Danny: “John, this is Dan Snyder. I want you to come coach the Skins. I will pay you ten million a year”
- Gruden: “ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR F’ING MIND!?!?! Click
- Danny: “DAMMIT. This is all Zorn’s fault. Vinny, go fire Zorn again. And Campbell too! Then get Bill Cowher on the line!
Vinny fires Zorn again, and lets Campbell go. He brings back Jeff George as the starting QB with a guaranteed salary of $ 20M. Then he gets Cowher on the phone….
- Danny: “Bill, this is Dan Snyder. I want…..”
- Cowher: Click
Danny: “Grrrrrr!!!! Vinny, go buy CBS and fire Cowher. Then get me Bobby Petrino. He’s a Benedict Arnold. He’ll come coach the Skins.
Vinny obeys and gets Petrino on the phone.
- Danny: “Bobby, this is Dan Snyder, and I want you to come coach the Skins. I’ll pay you $ 10M a year on a contract for life.”
- Petrino: “Pig SOOOOWWWEEEEE!! Click
- Danny: “Grrrrr!!!! Vinny, go make a huge donation to Arkansas, get me control of the athletic department, and FIRE PETRINO!!! Then get me the coach of DeMatha High on the phone!!!
Vinny does as he’s told and gets the DeMatha coach on the phone
- Danny: “Hey coach. This is Dan Snyder. I want you to come and coach the Skins. I’ll pay you 10 million a year”
- DeMatha coach: “Can I fire Sherm?”
- Danny: “Yes, fine. You get to fire Sherm”
- DeMatha coach: “Do I get to fire Vinny?”
- Danny: “FINE, you can fire Vinny!!”
- DeMatha coach: “One more thing……”
- Danny: “Dammit….what now?”
- DeMatha coach: “I want to bring in my O-Line.”
Oh how low this once proud franchise has sunken to…
Best answer:
Answer by Lou L
He’s currently working on updating his resume.
Add your own answer in the comments!